Six Ways to Cultivate A Grateful Heart.

It is snowing here in Denver... my neighbor has been putting up the community Christmas lights down the streets and in the little plaza nearby... my Facebook feed is full of people sharing what they are most grateful for each day. I'm starting to feel the holiday season more and more. Heck I'm feel super super tempted to play some Christmas music right now.I love the holidays. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. I love the cheer and the tradition of it all. I love this little new tradition my parents have started on Facebook recently where they share something they are grateful for each day of November. I'm not a bit Facebook person anymore so I don't really participate... but I've been thinking about being grateful more. I loved this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson.cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you,and to give thanks continuouslyI love that keyword of cultivate. Gratitude is an active state of mind that takes effort and a consistent commitment.

1. Journal

Just write down what you are grateful for a few minutes each day (maybe you do that on Facebook or you have an actual gratitude journal). Acknowledge the amazing and beautiful things in your life in a tangible way. I've done this on and off again for the past several years in a prayer journal. It it hard to do it consistently... it really is. I'm not going to life. The benefits of it though are pretty noticeable. When I journal it is hard to let my mind wander to stresses and struggles in life and it keeps me focused on the positive. As I do it regularly the benefits extend beyond my time of actually writing.

2. Accept Struggles

I really struggle with this one. It seems like a really counter-productive thing to do when you are trying to focus on the positive and embracing your blessings. I'm not saying you should focus or dwell on the difficult- but you shouldn't ignore it. My therapy taught me though that avoiding something that hurts or scares you only makes it feel bigger and more overwhelming. Plus- as you get some time between you and a difficult moment- you'll start to feel grateful for where you are since those struggles and give you more perspective.

3. Adjust Your Language & Actions

Be mindful of your language and your actions.  Actively smiling more, saying thank you more, and cutting out woe-is-me topics of conversation is a sneaky way to force your brain to focus on the positive and the blessings in your life. The more you cut out ungrateful topics of conversation and act grateful the more you will train yourself to automatically do those things. Plus, you will actually start feeling grateful consistently automatically.

4. Spend Time With Loved Ones

Spend valuable time with loved ones. Put down cell phones every once in a while and put it away entirely during a meal. Turn off your game or your show occasionally (TiVo right?). Strengthen your most beloved relationships by appreciating the ones that support and love you... and helped you through those times of struggle. Plus, showing others that you value you them boosts their self-esteem... which in turn (in healthy relationships) will be reciprocated.

5. Value Little Things & Actions

Slow down and take more stock in the smaller things around you... like if your husband does the dishes without any nagging or if he tells you look nice. If you weren't rushing around in the morning frantically trying to find your keys would his little comment make you smile? Would a moment to smile and acknowledge how much you appreciate his comment make you any more late? Take in the small things that make you feel appreciated and acknowledge them. Then reciprocate that small action in a small way that would make him feel appreciated. Not only is it a great habit for being more grateful, but it is also incredibly healthy for you relationships.

6. Volunteer

We all need help and support from others some point- and volunteering puts that into perspective. I've heard it said that givers are more appreciative receivers. We all have strengths that make us perfect for one type of volunteering or another. Offering your services in an area where you excel not only brings more value to individuals and programs your volunteering for- but it also strengthens your appreciation for your own gifts.