Learning. When the Hubby's On the Road.
My hubby was out of town two weeks ago for work. He has to travel a couple times a year for work- conventions, sales calls, branch check-ins... so on and so forth. I hate them all- okay well... I don't hate the ones where I get to go with him to Florida and Disney World.Honestly- being without my hubby for a week at time was a difficult thing for me to adjust to when we first married. I remember the first time- it was only a few weeks after we got back from our honeymoon. We were definitely still in honeymoon stage for the most part- so I was used to constant texting and phone calls through out the day while he was at work or while I was in class. When he had to go on a work trip though, he was in a position where he couldn't text or call that much. So on top of missing his physical presence, I was also missing the constant connection I was accustom to and it left a bit of an emotional whole in my life. I was unaccustomed to it and did not handle it well.Of course- the honeymoon stage has passed in the way where we don't need constant contact all the time. We still text through out the day of course, but substantially less than before. It is still difficult and emotionally draining for him to be gone- but I have figured out a few ways to better handle the absence.
give yourself grace
If you are not accustomed to your significant other being gone than just realize that it is normal to miss them and completely normal for it be very difficult at first. Admit to yourself that you're sad and be okay with it. Emotions are normal and inescapable - so don't beat yourself up over how to emotional respond to them being away.
be honest but cut out the guilt trips
Be honest with your partner that it is hard for them to be away- I'll bet you they don't like it much either and you can bond over that shared emotional strife. Do not guilt trip them though- don't beg them to stay or give them negative treatment in response to their departure (like silent treatments or angry attitudes). I can tell you from personal experience it is not helpful in anyway- not only do you squander the time you have with them- but you are making them leaving with negative feelings toward you. Cherish the time that you have before they leave and give them something uplifting and happy to remember.
remind yourself what their schedule is like
This is a hard one. You miss them and your alone in a way you're not used too- so you text and call them a lot (probably more than usual), but their slow and distracted responds sting more than usual. Repeat to yourself the purpose of their trip 'he's on a business trip... he is there to build up contacts and present a good face of his company' or like when I go out of town 'she's there to help take care of her ailing grandmother- she's trying to soak up as much precious time with her grandma as possible while she can.' The reminder of why they are gone adds purpose to their absence and reminds you that their time is busy.
treat yourself
This was a really powerful one for me once I discovered it. Schedule something that you will look forward to during the time they are away. Whatever that be- a night out with friends, a spa day, a shopping spree, or what have you. I love planning a day at the spa when my hubby is away- a facial and a massage particularly. It is nice to have something exciting to look forward to while he's gone to help the time pass quickly.
pull out their least favorite things
I watch as many movies that I can that my hubby has a hard time stomaching (which is a list I compiled here and is also similar to my sick day movie list). I also make spicy Mexican food and clean the condo. I play rainstorm noises while I sleep and blast music as soon as I wake up in the morning. I just pull out all the stops- anything he gets tired of quickly (rainstorm noises at night) or doesn't like at all (watching We Bought a Zoo for the millionth time) to make the time away feel less about him being gone and more about me having as good of a time as I can.
plan something fun for their return
Last but not least- plan something fun for when your significant other returns. Maybe its simply waiting for them at airport with flowers or a coffee, or maybe a reservation at their favorite place, or maybe its something a little more scandalous. Make their return an occasion and put a little thought into it- make them feel special.